Expert advice for parents with children (0-12 years)

How a parent answers the little probing questions kids ask on alcohol depends a lot on your family style – some families are very open and discuss everything, others tend to separate adult business from child business and adopt more of a ‘need to know’ approach. It also depends on the family stance on alcohol – families with a European background may be more likely to have children share a little wine with meals than would other cultures. The answers below are offered on the basis that the research suggests that alcohol is not good for developing brains and egos so it tends to draw a line in the sand between adult drinking and child drinking.

“Daddy/Mummy can I have a taste/little sip of your alcohol?"

No, just as we think (eg red cordial) is not good for you so we think that alcohol is not healthy for that little smart brain of yours that is growing and learning so quickly at your age.

“Daddy/Mummy Jack’s/Sophie’s parents (the little boy/girl’s friend) let him/her taste alcohol. Why can’t I?"

What other parents do is not our business – we wouldn’t do a very good job if we tried to be like somebody else. Jack/Sophie’s parents may let their kids stay up late or may not let kids talk at the table – whatever they do is what they’ve agreed on. What we do in our house is what makes us feel that we are loving you and looking after you the very best way we can.

“Daddy/Mummy, why can’t I have alcohol?”

The doctors and scientists and all the people that know a lot about kids, have told us that alcohol (substitute wine, beer, etc) is bad for your health, your body and can really do damage to that little smart brain of yours. We wouldn’t want to do that.

“Daddy/Mummy, when can I have alcohol?”

The doctors and scientists tell us that when kids' brains are developing they should not have alcohol – so we will not be letting you have alcohol until you’re at least 16 – some families will allow it earlier but we won’t because we want your body and brain at their best whilst you’re growing. Some families say 18, when the government thinks people are old enough to be an adult and vote and go out with friends to clubs where there’s alcohol.

"Daddy/Mummy why does your head hurt after drinking too much alcohol?"

There are lots of reasons really. It takes the body a lot of effort to handle alcohol and our kidneys and liver work hard to cope with it. For some people and with not too much alcohol that is easy, but if we have too much the body has to work too hard and it dehydrates (or takes water from) our bodies and that can make us feel unwell. It can also cause us to drop our blood sugar, and then we might feel a bit off like you might feel if you haven’t had water or food for a long time. Sometimes the impurities (or toxins) in the drink can cause us to feel unwell too. So that’s why we have to be careful and that’s why it’s not good for kids whose bodies aren’t as strong yet as adults.

"Daddy/Mummy why is Daddy/Mummy still sleeping?"

Mummy had a very late night and we laughed a lot and talked a lot and she’s just catching up on some sleep – so let’s give her time to do that as she is such a good dad/mum she deserves some time off don’t you think

"Daddy/Mummy why is Daddy/Mummy vomiting in the toilet?"

Daddy had too many drinks (or mixed his drinks or didn’t have enough water between his drinks or ate too much rich food etc) and his body is telling him it doesn’t like it so it is getting rid of what it doesn’t like. That’s why we are careful that you don’t drink because it can do you even more damage.

“Daddy/Mummy, why do you drink alcohol?”

Most times we have it with meals to make the food taste even better, sometimes when we just want to chat with friends or before dinner we have a glass just to make us more relaxed and to celebrate the fact that we’re with people we love. Some doctors also tell us that a glass or two of wine is actually good for adults – it actually can help our bodies stay fit and fight diseases that adults get as they grow older.

“Daddy/Mummy why was Uncle Mick acting funny last night after he had his “special drinks”?

Uncle Mick was just probably relaxing and enjoying being with us all. Sometimes he might have a bit too much to drink and then he can act a bit silly. You see alcohol can affect adult brains too, that’s why we have to be careful how much we have.

“Daddy/Mummy why do you always have alcohol at dinner”

We like to have a glass of wine (or beer etc) with our meals as it makes the food taste even better and we enjoy sharing a glass or two with friends – it makes us feel good. It’s a bit like how you enjoy having chocolate with ice-cream.

“But I’m allowed to drink alcohol at daddy’s place, why can’t I drink it here?”

What daddy does at his place is up to him. I have no say in it, just as I have no say in what he feeds you. Alcohol is not good for kids’ health or their growing brains and I’m quite happy for you to tell daddy that. But if I feel that you’re coming back home and you’re unhappy or unwell then I will have to chat to daddy about it. His house and our house are meant to be safe and happy places for you to be.